Saturday, 21 March 2015

Don't Say Never

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When I was young and something didn't work out in my favor, I'd say, "I'll never (fill in the missing blanks) and my mother had two favorite comeback lines. She would say, "Never is a long time" or she would say, "Never say never."
In the early days, I would scoff at her and say such stupid things like, "I mean it, Mom. I'll NEVER... " and before long, "NEVER" would come up and bite me in the rear end.
It took a lot of experiences for me to learn that "never" comes sooner than we can imagine. I'd no sooner say it, than I'd be face-to-face with a similar situation and I'd feel like I had no choice but to do what I said I would never do again.

I've never enjoyed eating crow, with or without ketchup or other seasonings, so I learned tothink that I'd never do the same thing again, but I wouldn't say it aloud. My mother usually knew what I was thinking and, she was kind enough not to say it but, there were many times I caught her smiling when she thought I wasn't looking.
And, of course, her other comeback line, "Never is a long time," always made me think that I would outlive that time but that, of course, was when I was very young and hadn't experienced enough of life to know that you don't have to live a hundred years to find out that "never" doesn't take a hundred years to come back and make you regret ever having said that.
Maybe kids are more savvy today than they were in my day; maybe they don't think they can outlive the fates or fool them into thinking they're too smart to use the word, "never" but I'll bet they have other expressions that are similar to the ones we used. They may not sound the same, but I'll bet they mean the same.
Kids of all generations have certain things in common, not just their youth and inexperience. They think they're invincible and immortal and that they can fool their parents. I remember being that age and not realizing that whatever I was doing or wanted to do, my parents had already done it when they were my age and knew how to stop me from getting too close to the edge of the cliff that other kids were jumping off of.
Although I didn't learn not to say "never" when I was young, I eventually learned not to even think it when I got older. Experience goes a long way. I now know that "never" comes sooner than I'd like and stays in my life longer than I ever imagined.
So, for now, I'll just say... "Never say never" and be prepared for much more than you bargained for.
Connie H. Deutsch is an internationally known business consultant and personal advisor who has a keen understanding of human nature and is a natural problem-solver.
Connie is the author of the books, "Whispers of the Soul," "A Slice of Life," "Whispers of the Soul for the Rest of Your Life," "From Where I'm Sitting," "View from the Sidelines," "Reaching for the Brass Ring of Life," "Purple Days and Starry Nights," "Here and There," "And That's How it Goes," and "The Counseling Effect." Her website: http://www.conniehdeutsch.com/
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